Episode 11

[Jeff Probst]

Gurl, you trying to make a boring game for me? jk What are your plans now that it's over, do you think you'll face the consequences for lying to your former tribe and not voting with them?

[Tina]

Gurl, you trying to make a boring game for me? jk What are your plans now that it's over, do you think you'll face the consequences for lying to your former tribe and not voting with them?

You think that is boring? Holy schnikes.. What odds I make FTC... and get effin' thumped? Again, ths tie breaker rule vagueness... not a fan

I know you mentioned that it is intentionally vague like the TV show, but apart from Marquesas I dont think it has been particularly vague. Cn remember it discussed by Tom and Ian in Palau, during Samoa, obviously Cochran in SP. Am pretty sure I read or heard Kathy V O'Brien say that it was vague in the Marquesas contract, but by the time of All Stars it had definitely been included. But that is nether here nor there. Your game. Your rule. But I would be lying if I didnt say that this has, in some part, at least 3 times now influenced my decision.

In truth though, I did get a little spooked by something Chris said at TC... I was about to post switch 3. Had it written. Had it ready to go. Even hit tab and my finger poised over the enter key. That is twice now he has said something that has undone work I have done - last night because he was smashed. And tonight I thought he had tipped off that there was a switch up in place, and it would tip off for a HII play, and in which case on the balance to stick it on Hayden.

Yeah, I know. I could have made all the difference, but there are too many inconsistencies. I can understand doing this when there is 1 Rai, but almost certainly figured at least one of the Rai boys would see this offer of a lifeline and look to use it as leverage to get a better deal. And guess what Hatch did? And guess who had warned Jeff, Kimmi and Debb of this? Yep. Me. Sometimes the right move is t not make a move, and had argued against it, but once it was on, I should have just gone for it also. Done now.

Hayden could have been a big force for the rest of this game, and I genuinely did like the guy. He was funny, smart, chraming and smooth. And he could play. And he has some game at the challenges also. I was looking at Chris' avatar at one pont, othing related to this Chris, but the RL Chris in Vanuatu. And could see Hayden fitting that mould. Caan you imagine Hayden at the FTC, given the Rai underdog story. havikng to go through all this? Hell I would want to vote for him, even if I were sitting beside him.

I am also pissing off people at a hell of a rate of knots.

Didnt know if it would matter, but obviously it did. Bad move on my part. I can try to defend it, but it was a bad move, bit so now I just have to try and pivk up the pieces and see what can be salvaged.

Can I work some magic, get Chris to flip, especially as I kind of have backed hoim into a corner (kind of accidenty, on purpose... and with his OK )? On this Jeff, Kimmi and Debb hold theri game in my hands.

I cant stick with the Kirati people. At best I go to the end as a goat. Worst, I get voted outm either in short order as I am no longer of use, or well donw the pecking order. So I need to do whatever I can to get Chris to flip the vote.The lines need blurring. I have tried blurring lines, Now am going to need Chris to really ,ake them a mess.

People still hate me. Whatever. Poeple pissed at me? Whatever. Haters are going to hate. This has been far from me at my best... Very nearly me at my worst I would say. Worse than Lister even, because even there I played the first half flawlessly - wasnt til I had a week of divorce proceedings coincide with the mid to late merge, and wow dd I turn Lil from PI in that sucker. I see a lot of that in this game here, as I just have never felt I could relax. Fet like I have been pushing uphill every inch of the way and it really hasnt come easily to me here.

But I am still here. Sticll ticking, Still kicking. Still fighting,

[Tina]

Chris and I last night agreed that the time had come for him to make his move, to play his hand and flip the game. Today this was set in motion. Admittedly, I dud have to give that situation a nudge after I screwed the vote for Angie last night, but tying Chris into a line that I had given him a heads upo about the vote (and said I was doing the same to carter when the pms were shut off), which has not had Denise and Angie set off on a witchhunt... which promoted Chris to announce to Kimmi, Debb and Jeff that the time had come and he was ready to flip.

So here we go.... inco_mml

This is something that the 2 of us have been talking about since before he had even put me up as the sacrifice on nuMadheesi, and we have done well to keep it low key til now, but have also secured Debb in with this also. This should 100% help to see this ti Kimmi and Jeff. Jeff was pretty stropy with me last night so I am more than happy that my pledge to make this right with Jeff, Debb & Kimmi is coming true.

This is not the best I have played, but I am kicking & this game is far from over. I know I have sounded very negative about my game here, becaus at times I feel as though I have been overplaying and doing it really hard since day 1. But it has made me a tonne of connections, a tonne of options, and unfortunately it means there has been a lot of hurt in this game because of me and there will be more.

People when or if anyone is ever interestined in reading my confessional, I have been a bit of a wreck in this confessional at times, but rock solid in my msgs. Hell, I came so close to saying last night after that 'spade and secluded walk' comment at the challenge that they just guess me out at the start of that when I went awol for 15 min or whatever, because I kind of feared I would end up towrd the top of that challenge, as that is as close to a coconut chop challenge as you can get in this game. And I dont want anyone to know how central I am, while for so long having pretended to being on the bottom of absolutely everything. B

However, I want people to not feel as though they need me. I want them to feel as though I need them. In other words, as if my entire game is entirely in their hands. Because that makes people feel good. It makes people feel important, it makes them beluieve I am at their mercy and if you can do this just so, it can be an awfully effective way of surviving. It is a subtle way of playing the game, but cloaked by not always appearing too clever, making the odd mistake. Admittedly, last night Angie should have gone. and that was not a calculated mistake. What I mean by that is something that appears to be an error. Have done this very effectively in the past.

I know I havent played the most exciting game and know that this has not been me at my absolute best, and I am disappointed in that because I so wanted to make such a strong impression on this game. But the way this game has gone I have shown that I have got some game, have worked out of tight spots, have been resiliant, have worked connections, have sucked a challenges.

There is still a very long way to go.

Game on.

[Tina]

Oh, and I dont knoew if I had mentioned this before or not previously, but I have been lying my ass off in this game. No kidding, I think I have said like 3 truthful things in this entire game. Everything else has been almost exclusively BS... ior at least is a BS version of the truth, or truth hidden by a whole heap of BS.

Sorry. Not sorry.

[Jeff Probst]

I much prefer evil devious Tina to scared tina. Don't be scared gurl, OWN IT.

[Tina]

Not feeling anywhere near as central as I was when I wrote that. Seems I hasve been excluded from every group chat that was going and getting BS from Carter that there are no group chats. Leopaerds dont change their spots , so after so many rounds where this has ben commin practice, suddenly now everyone has this epiphany that this is the moment to stop group msgs?

I may have been born at night. But it wasnt last night.

God, I am putting a hell of a lot of faith in Chris right now.